I think the one thing that parents may whine about more than anything else is the mystery that is “achieving balance.” As we fight so hard to make sure our kids can chase their dream, it’s damn near impossible to find time to remember to chase our own. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, we take great pride in helping our kids find their way. We take great pride in working hard to provide for our families, but then…”What about me? Where’s MY time? Where’s my BALANCE?”
Totally get that.
Seems to me that in order to find balance we have to stop trying so hard to achieve it. We have to stop thinking of balance as something that happens always. Instead, we have to start thinking about balance as something that happens on average. What do I mean?
There are times when I know that I need to be super business guy. During these times, I’m not going to be as available to be super dad. I’m going to miss bedtime. I’m going to be gone before K-Man wakes up in the morning. There also will be times when I can check out from work early to surprise K-Man with an early pick up and trip to a pumpkin patch (or whatever patch the season dictates). And…there are times when I need to check out from all of it and sit my butt on the couch and just watch football, or go to a bookstore and write. For me.
The trick isn’t to find balance in each of these things. The trick is to do each of these things the very best that you can. From business guy to slouch, whatever mode I’m in – I’m going to be great at it. I owe that to myself, to my family and my clients/employees. Where we get tripped up is when we start to feel guilty. When we’re in one mode and we start to worry that we’re not in another. “I’m working too much and not paying enough time to my family.” That’s death. In that mode – you won’t do work well OR take care of your family well. Focus on the average.
I know we’re hammered with messages about living in the moment. Screw the moment. Look at the big picture. Look at how you’re doing overall. On average. When you look there – you’ll uncover what you’ve been looking for: Balance.