The Secret Lives of Kids

I know the kid gets all kinds of ideas from media (e.g. movies) or friends and teachers, but I’m left to wonder if there isn’t some bigger influence. Half the things that come out of my kid’s mouth aren’t from anywhere. The other day he told me that we passed someone that looked like the Jonas Brothers. As he said it, I actually heard that sound of a needle scratch on a record. The world kind of stopped.

“Dude,” I asked him knowing full well that he’d never heard any of their music in our house “How do you know about the Jonas Brothers?” He told me, “I just do.” Then I realized that’s his stock answer for all kinds of questions. “I just do.” Apparently, he just knows about all kinds of things. Things that have no real explanation. He’ll tell me “Oh, B told me about that.” Or “Teacher J told us about it.” But then there’s this whole line of answers, “I just do.”

I makes me wonder if there isn’t some secret society of four-year olds. I wonder if they don’t run off together in the middle of the night to teach each other things. Things that they shouldn’t know about. (That’s right – my kid shouldn’t know about the damn Jonas Brothers!) I used to think that all moms gathered up their daughters on a weekend when all the boys and men were busy watching a game or some such thing. Then, the moms would teach the daughters the simple secrets to men. Does something like that happen with kids? If so…who is gathering them up? Seven-year olds? I certainly don’t remember any such secret meetings when I was four.

So, I’m left to wonder about K-Man’s secret life. I know he has one. Maybe I’ll catch him sneaking out the window one night.

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